Made-Up Rules for Our Imaginary Children

When Mr. Sandwich and I were married, but before we had Baguette, we made many pronouncements, as you do. Some of them still hold, like leaving the restaurant when we cannot keep her quiet and calm. Some of them remain untested (we are not fans of demanding MORE candy from people when trick-or-treating, and yes, we’ve seen that happen, but she’s not really a fan of trick-or-treating). Others have fallen by the wayside.

“No junk food before age 2! There is plenty of time to eat french fries later, but they don’t need them that young!”

At just under a year, Baguette reached up and pulled a french fry from Mr. Sandwich’s mouth and ate it. She loved it. Now I just wish she’d eat fries, because that would mean one more thing she eats.

“No TV before age 2!”

At about six months, she came home from day care with a fever. She felt awful and was exhausted, but could not quite tip over into sleep. I looked for something age-appropriate and stumbled across Yo Gabba Gabba. I thought, “Wow, this show is awful.” A minute later, she passed out on her own lap, and I thought, “This show is GREAT.” From there we found Pajanimals and Sesame Street (well, I knew about that one) and Wibbly Pig and Stella and Sam. We have never watched Yo Gabba Gabba again. That show is awful.

“We will never get a portable DVD player or own a car in which one is installed, even if we have to take a hammer to it. Our children can look out the window and play the Alphabet Game like we each did.”

We are seriously considering buying a portable DVD player for the car.

12 thoughts on “Made-Up Rules for Our Imaginary Children

  1. Oh man…so many rules we had made. And the DVD player in the car? We only got one because we were set on a model year with all wheel drive and the only one in the state of California came with one. I CANNOT imagine life without one now. Seriously, why did I make my life so hard prior??

      1. Oh agree. We buy our cars and then drive them until they die. This time the timing worked in our favor.

        They do have iPad cases you can hang from the back of the front seat too.

        1. We’ve got a big, rubbery case for hers, and she does a good job of hanging onto it. But it would be nice to be able to show her a DVD on long trips, particularly since her iPad is wifi only.

  2. Isn’t it fun playing the “this is how it will be game?” before the game actually starts?

    The me before kids . . . well, yeah, I don’t think I’d get along with that guy, when it came to discussing parental strategy.

  3. I used to judge people whose children wandered up and down the isles during church. Until mine started doing that, and, guess what, they don’t scream and jump on us when we allow them in the isle. So much less disruptive for everyone.

  4. And, we own every entertaining gadget we can afford. If they will watch it for two minutes while I go to the bathroom, it’s a keeper. Sometimes when I put Spiderman in the car DVD player, they stop unbuckling their car seats and hitting each other for a few minutes while they are mesmerized. It is bliss.

    1. Thankfully, Baguette prefers her harness buckled. She’s about to need a booster seat, and I want to see if I can find one with a 5-point harness. She likes it, and I’d rather keep her in that style rather than go seatbelt-only before we have to.

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