I try not to get political here, or in a lot of areas of my life. It’s not that I don’t have opinions–it’s that I’d prefer to find common ground. There is far too much that we allow to divide us, and I think that’s one of the biggest problems our society faces. All too often, we shun those whose opinions differ from our own.
But there are some exceptions.
Today, Mr. Sandwich and I are celebrating our ninth anniversary. I am so grateful for this man who loves and supports me. I appreciate the fact that we could mark our commitment to each other in front of friends and family. I am reassured that our relationship and our family have legal protections.
I think everyone ought to be able to have that.
Your house of worship doesn’t want to marry couples who are gay? They don’t have to. And no matter what the Supreme Court decides in either case it’s hearing on the subject this week, they won’t have to. But the reasons for and purposes of marriage have varied widely throughout history, and across social classes, so I don’t buy the argument that marriage has a specific and unchanging purpose.
And the argument that gay marriage undermines straight marriage? Let’s not even delve into the question of celebrity marriage rates, or the nationwide divorce rate. Those miss the point, which is this:
The only people who can undermine our marriage are Mr. Sandwich and me. No one else’s marriage affects ours. Not my brother’s to his wife; not Britney Spears’ or Elizabeth Taylor’s or Mickey Rooney’s to–between them–20 people; not our friend from the bus who went out of state to legally marry his husband several months ago. Whether strong or weak, those are their marriages–not ours.
Your house of worship can choose which people they will or will not marry based on any number of criteria; mine certainly did. But the government’s true interest in marriage is not based on love, or birth rates, or a specific vision of society. It is based on property rights and access.
If you love someone and spend your life with them, you should be able to get information about their medical care when they’re critically ill. You should be able to easily inherit. You should be able to say who you are and who you love and build a legal life together.
Mr. Sandwich I have had those rights for the past nine years. I want more people to have what we have.
Exactly! Intelligent and to the point. Well said.
Congrats on your anniversary!
Thank you, and thank you!
You know, I’m not a big fan of “punditry,” or people who spout their beliefs as fact . . . but I thought Olbermann did a fantastic job with his “what does it matter to you” diatribe. If you believe that marriage is so very sacred that a change to the institution will bring about the demise of civilization, well, where you for the past 50 years where a marriage holds little more promise than a handshake?
I’ve found no reason for anyone to get “up in arms” over homosexual marriage. I’ve tried to look at things from all sides, but I just fail. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I can’t help but think is a bigot.
The only thing is that, in the early 1900’s, pillars of the community could be found arguing against female suffrage — I choose to believe that anyone railing that homosexual marriage should be outlawed was just as misguided as those pillars.
There are so many flaws in the arguments against that it’s hard to even know where to start. I just know that I can’t look at someone who is somehow different from me merely in terms of category and say, “You are inherently less worthy than I am for Reason A, B, or C.”
And I also can’t help but think of the words of a comedian–I feel like it was Chris Rock, but maybe not–who said in one bit:
“Don’t hate people because they’re black or women or gay. That’s just bigoted. Get to know people as individuals. You’ll find much better reasons to hate them.”
Happy anniversary! Today is the 13th anniversary of when my husband and I first started dating, which is actually more special to me than our wedding date. Anyway, I wish our Supreme Court Justices agreed with you and perhaps a majority will (I am more optimistic about Windsor; I am less optimistic that Hollingsworth will be a broad pronouncement). I was appalled by Justice Alito’s comments yesterday about needing more data on the effect of same-sex marriage on the institution of marriage and on children. First, I don’t see this as an empirical question; I see it as a constitutional question about a fundamental right. Second, what does he think the data might show? Plenty of places in the US and around the world have marriage equality, and the sky didn’t fall. Whatever the Court decides to do, marriage equality is inevitable. It’s such a non-issue to my children–a family with two moms or two dads is just another family (as I discussed in my post this week).
Thanks! Our dating anniversary is May 5; this year will be #12 for us.
And I totally agree. Maybe we should send the Supreme Court our blog posts.
Well put, well said, well… everything! Thank you. Great entry. And love your blog title. 😉
Thanks! I believe that there should be more options in life, not fewer. And more fairness, not less. And also more logic.
That was very well said. And I really believe that in my lifetime, we will see it come around like mised race marriages.
Thank you. And I certainly hope so.
“The only people who can undermine our marriage are Mr. Sandwich and me.” Great words – if more couples realized that and put it into practice, think how much stronger the institution of marriage (in any form) would be in our society.
Happy anniversary to you and Mr. Sandwich!
Thank you! I don’t want to point fingers at other people’s marriage issues; I think most people try to make the best choices they can, but I truly don’t understand how the theoretical marriage of two totally separate individuals is supposed to affect mine.
Heehee, I love the title!
Seemed like a natural to me.
I agree with everything you said, and thank you for saying it. Here in Australia gay marriage gets thrown around as a political issue & it frustrates the hell out of me. Religion should have nothing to do with government policy, and I can’t believe in this day and age the state can piss all over its own citizens’ rights like this. I hope we can all celebrate a big step forward too, soon!
Here’s to future progress!
Oh, and Happy Anniversary!! 🙂
Thanks!