There are a lot of things I want for Baguette. The big thing, of course, is an innate sense of self-worth. She has that now, and I want to do everything possible to help her hold onto that. It’s good to question yourself and your actions–but I want her to know her entire life that she has inherent value.
I want her to get an education. I want her to learn to question herself and others. I want her to be not just tolerant, but truly accepting of difference. I want her to learn when to be kind, and when to protect herself.
But there are also things I want her to see me do, because I want her to see the world as a place of possibility that is not limited by her gender.
1) I want to do more triathlons. My last one was in 2009 (I think), so it’s been a while. I had planned to do one this fall, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen. But I definitely want her to see me, and not just Mr. Sandwich, be active. Because I want her to be active.
2) I want both of us to learn to drive a stick shift. (I want her to do this a long time from now.)
3) I want to cook and clean and garden, but I also want to learn woodworking and minor home repairs, beyond just tightening the occasional screw.
4) I want to learn another language. My high school and college Spanish classes are long behind me, and considering that I live in L.A., it is ridiculous that I don’t speak decent Spanish.
5) I want to volunteer. It’s very easy for me to focus on the ways my life is challenging. But I have it so easy in so many ways, and I want her to realize two things: that we’re fortunate, and that we owe it to others to help them when they’re not.
There are many, many others. I want to teach and show Baguette so much. But this is a start.
I love your list, and how specific they are too. I plan to volunteer and have my kiddo do the same as well. We’re pretty involved with non-profits so this will come easily for us. And I’m in LA too!
Thanks! I wanted to come up with a list that was specific (it’s easier to meet goals if they are actually defined), but I feel like they tie into larger topics about being a capable human being. I want Baguette to feel good about herself because of what she can do, not just because she’s been told she’s awesome. Although I do tell her she’s awesome.
I definitely agree with you about volunteering (and languages!). I really want my kids to see the importance of helping others. It’s not really important in my family or that of my husband’s (or even to my husband), so I’m sort of alone on this one and I’ve been very bad about volunteering in the past few years.
I haven’t been good about it, either. I want to, and I say I want to, but I haven’t. Hopefully saying it here will help motivate me.