Things I Said While Watching TV Tonight

Watching Matthew McConnaughey in a Lincoln ad:
Mr. Sandwich: Let’s see what Matthew McConnaughey is going to tell us about Lincolns today.
Me: There is something really unnerving about his teeth.

Watching Speechless:
Me: I identify with Jimmy and Dylan. Because I feel like it’s my job to stay calm and also I’m fighty. There’s a lot of conflict between these two parts of me.

Watching something that appears to be an action movie due to urgent driving:
Me: What is this? Is it Live Free and Die Harder in a Really Stupid Way?
Mr. Sandwich: It’s Batman v. Superman.
Me: Same thing.

Still watching Batman v. Superman:
Holly Hunter: The world has been so busy thinking about what Superman can do that we haven’t stopped to ask what he should do.
Me: Oh, I get it. Superman is Jurassic Park.

Still watching Batman v. Superman, even though we meant to go to bed 30 minutes ago:
Perry White: Headline: End of Love Affair with Man in Sky?
Me: Perry, that’s a terrible headline.

But, really, the amazing thing is that we got to watch TV. Do you know how rare it is for Baguette to sleep?

What Doesn’t Kill You

Ginger of Ramble, Ramble has more writing prompts this week. I couldn’t choose, and they seem to go together, so here you are:

Prompt 1: What are your sick day must haves? Do you want certain foods, shows, clothes, drinks? What makes you feel better when you feel crummy?

Couch, pillows, TV, fleece blankets, PJs, Wicket. Basically, all the soft things.

I don't know about you, but I feel better just looking at her.
I don’t know about you, but I feel better just looking at her.

Prompt 2: What’s the sickest you’ve ever been?

Nearly every story about the sickest I’ve ever been includes vomit. Lots of vomit. So I think we should skip those stories, and I think you will agree.

The obvious exceptions are the time I had pneumonia (at an out-of-town conference! that required plane travel!) and the time I had swine flu. Ah, swine flu. Good times.

One Friday in late February 2009,* I had a D&C for my second miscarriage, which (like miscarriages 1, 3, and 4) did not happen without some help. On Sunday, I was supposed to get together with a couple of friends to watch the Oscars. Because of my surgery, they kindly came to my house and brought all the food.

We snarked the Red Carpet so viciously that at one point Mr. Sandwich had to come inside to see what we were shrieking about (one of the hosts had done something so unfortunate to her face that she was trying not to appear on camera, but since she was the host, she kind of had to). The ceremony began. The snarking continued.

After a couple of hours, I started to feel under the weather. I thought, “What I really want to do is go lie down, but if I do that, my friends will feel that they have to leave. And I’m totally fine with them staying, I just need to lie down.”

But since I didn’t want them to go, I stayed put in the recliner.

After another hour, I thought, “What is this? I’m so sore and achy. Wait. Is this the flu? It’s been a while, but I think this is what the flu feels like.”

By the time the show was over and everybody went home, I felt as if the inside of my skin was being sanded. This is not a good feeling.

The next day I had a follow-up appointment with my OB-GYN; from his office, we went to our primary care doctor. As the morning progressed, Mr. Sandwich started to feel achy.

The primary care physician prescribed antivirals for both of us, and we headed off to the drug store.

Which could only fill one prescription of antivirals.

Back home, we swathed the couch in microfleece throws (because the perfectly fine upholstery was too rough for feverish skin) and settled in.

Oh, and while this was going on? I was borderline hemorraghing from the D&C. (You do not want to know.)

Both the flu and the bleeding went on for most of the week. We spent much of it on the couch, looking sadly at each other and saying, “I’m really sorry I can’t take care of you, but I feel so sick.” And the other one would say, “Please don’t worry about it, because I feel that sick, too.”

We also learned that, even with the blinds closed, the afternoon sun cast so much glare on our TV screen that we couldn’t really see it. And since TV was the only form of distraction we could manage (books are so heavy), we kind of needed to see it.

Mr. Sandwich draped the windows in more microfleece throws. Fortunately, we have a lot of them.

And those antivirals? We felt no different at all for taking them. They didn’t seem to help in the slightest. The fever, aches, chills, and clamminess persisted in spite of the drugs. (We still got the second prescription, and we each took all of them that we were supposed to. In case you were wondering.)

But on the other hand, we didn’t die. So there’s that. Because people do die of swine flu.

And after we were well, we replaced the window coverings with wooden blinds.

So I guess you could say that we were so sick, we redecorated.

See those blinds behind Wicket? Those blinds.
See those blinds behind Wicket? Those blinds.

*Sources say that the first reported U.S. cases were in late March. But given the severity of our symptoms and the speed of their onset, we are pretty sure that we ran into it at the hospital, before doctors knew about the outbreak.

TV and Me

Joanna Goddard (of A Cup of Jo) and her husband gave up TV for a week. It sounds like they had a great week.

I’m a big fan of TV in moderation. Personally, I can go all day and barely have it on, and not just because I’m at work–I often don’t watch much TV when I’m home sick, for example.

And when it is on these days, we’re most likely watching “Sesame Street” episodes on the DVR, or some other form of children’s television provided by Sprout TV (but not “Caillou“! Not “Caillou”!).

So what that means is that for me, getting to watch Actual Grownup Shows is something of a treat–because mostly they just stack up in the DVR. And now the only time Mr. Sandwich and I are likely to watch them is when we’re both home without Baguette. Because at night, we’re all up or we’re all in bed. There’s no “after she gets to bed, we’ll watch a couple of episodes of ‘Louie‘.”

(And that’s too bad. I love “Louie.” I love it so much that I’m reasonably at peace with Louis CK’s decision to take a year off so that he can keep the quality high. Because–nooooooo!—but okay, because I’ll make that trade for a show that good.)

But this, in case you were wondering, is why we have something like 27 episodes of “Castle” just sitting there in the DVR. Waiting. And waiting.

Spies Like Us

So we’re watching “Chuck” and this week’s episode (yes, I know it airs Monday and today is Wednesday–there’s just too much TV on Monday, so thank goodness for complete episodes on the web) features a character named Sasha Banacheck. And what character did Linda Fiorentino play in the 1985 movie Gotcha!?

That’s right. Sasha Banicek.

But does anyone really provide Gotcha! shout-outs? I mean, who other than me would get them?

If You Like “Lost”

You’ll love NBC’s Crusoe! Or will you? Don’t get me wrong–I’m happy to see classic literature adapted for the small screen. But I’m suspicious about this choice, considering the success of ABC’s Lost.  Plus it looks like they’ve added a romantic entanglement using (gasp!) flashbacks. Because everybody knows that women won’t watch a show that doesn’t feature a woman, and preferably a woman in love. (Apparently it counts for nothing that I watched the original Law & Order for two years without being aware that it lacked women; I just thought it was a really good show.)

I think I’ll stick with the Olympics and Mad Men.


This week seems like it has lasted forever, but it’s finally done! J took the day off but is working this evening. I guess that’s not much of a day off. But the result is that I got home and have been lazing around ever since. At some point I should probably figure out what I’m going to eat for dinner.

Lunch was a bit of a challenge, too. There’s a new falafel restaurant in Westwood, but the line was too long for the level of hunger I was feeling (apparently I need to eat more than one packet of oatmeal for breakfast). However, I was in a falafel kind of mood. About two blocks away was a longtime denizen of Westwood–Falafel King. I remember eating there in college, although it was in a different location at that point.

What I can’t tell you is whether Falafel King serves good falafel. I liked it–salty, slightly spicy, and fried. When you put it that way, what’s not to like? Certainly I walked away full, which itself was an improvement. And I figure that now I have a baseline for comparison, when I finally do get to the new place.

Dinner, for the moment, remains a mystery. Also, I should probably make a run out to Whole Foods, so that I don’t have to go in the morning. In the meantime, though, I’ve stumbled across a TLC show called Say Yes to the Dress. What is with all the lumpy wedding gowns that seem to be out there? Yet another trend I do not get. Good thing that J and I are already married!