The Devil Wears Stride Rite

I’m starting to think that Miranda Priestly may have actually been a toddler. How can I support this theory? Baguette’s meltdowns have increased in frequency over the past few days. While I can’t always understand what she’s trying to tell us, here’s what seems to be the gist of it:

  • “This banana I asked for five minutes ago should have been here an hour ago!”
  • “I refuse to wear pajamas!”
  • “I am freezing! Where are my pajamas?”
  • “Do not try to put those pajamas on me! Who do you think you are, my mother?”
  • “I hate it when you comb my hair!”
  • “There are tangles in my hair! I will tear them out at the roots!”
  • “Those are not cereal bars. Cereal bars are one shelf down. Rearranging the pantry changes their very being!”
  • “Nooooo! I want the cake mix! It is now a cereal bar!”

StrideRiteShoes_001

Photo by DebMomOf3, via Flickr. Creative Commons.

10 thoughts on “The Devil Wears Stride Rite

    1. I can guarantee that she is not. And actually I thought two would be a lot worse than it has been; the tantrums have escalated notably in the past few weeks, but they’re still not as bad as I feared–and she’s almost 10 months into being two.

  1. God, yes. I put Sausage in bed tonight with a kiss and the conviction that I’ve already irrevocably scarred him, since why else would he behave like such a contrary little asshole? I feel a bit better now.

    1. You should have seen her pouty face when I told her that she could not eat a box of cake mix.

        1. I can’t imagine what would happen if Baguette got hold of coffee. We can’t even let her have chocolate because of how nuts she gets–she’s not allergic, but she pings off the walls like . . . um . . . something that pings off of walls.

    1. Personally, I think there is a very, very broad range of normal. My parenting is based on that.

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