Category: Books and Reading

  • Q & A?

    Question mark in Esbjerg

    I read this list of “the best” children’s books of 2014. A lot of them look great. And then the entry for The Baby Tree by Sophie Blackall got me thinking.

    The standard advice about answering children’s questions about “tricky” subjects–sex, death, etc.–is to answer the question that was asked. Don’t overthink it, don’t give more information than they can process. They asked a question that reflects the level of information they’re ready for.

    Sounds great. I certainly want to teach Baguette everything she wants to know.

    But what if your child can’t ask the questions to begin with? How do we know what she wants to know?

    Photo by Alexander Henning Drachmann, via Flickr. Creative Commons.

  • What Comes To Mind

    • I’ve read Tuck Everlasting more than once and have no idea what happens in that book.
    • Ditto Wide Sargasso Sea.
    • I also don’t understand the appeal of ripped jeans as attractive fashion. I didn’t get them last time, either.
    •  Is there a way to eat meringues gracefully?
    • Why am I eating this meringue?
    • High temperatures still are in the 80s in our part of L.A. Hello, November!
    • I baked pumpkin bread anyway.
    • We are entering the world of LAUSD. I’ll admit it, just like everyone else does–I’m apprehensive.
    • But, hey, at least there’s pumpkin bread.

     

    loaves of homemade pumpkin bread

  • Friday Five: September 5, 2014

    Things that come to mind:

    1) We took a trip to visit cousins over Labor Day weekend, and had a wonderful time. I grew up across the country from much of my family, and didn’t know what I was missing. Fortunately–and thanks in large part to Facebook–I’ve gotten to know quite a few of my cousins now that we’re adults. But I want Baguette to just not miss it to begin with.

    2) Someday all too soon, Baguette is going to stop singing “Wet It Go,” and I’m going to miss it So Much. Just as I will miss it when she no longer says, “Want get wemon” at the grocery store.

    3) I wonder how many times I can re-read Cryptonomicon. So far, the answer is “a great many times.”

    4) It is becoming clear that we are about to enter a Winnie the Pooh phase. And because it’s the question everyone asks next, I mean Disney Pooh, not Classic Pooh.

    5) Mr. Sandwich’s hugs are like being wrapped in a hug. That sounds like it is circular and self-evident, but in fact it is just the best.

    5

  • On Gifts

    birthday presents

    Baguette loves gifts, and she gets a lot of them. Mr. Sandwich and I are constantly buying her books, and she had grandparents on both sides who are always on the lookout for toys and games that will capture her interest.

    What we’ve learned, though, is that giving Baguette something, and having her get it–well, those are two different things, and they happen in very different time frames.

    For her birthday, in April, one pair of grandparents gave her a Monsters University Scare Factory and a Rescue City Center set. She started playing with it last week. This is August.

    This week, four new Wibbly Pig books arrived in the mail. I suspect it will take us several weeks to get all of them into rotation, and Baguette loves Wibbly Pig.

    We’ve seen this before, and we expect it. Baguette needs time to warm up to toys and books. She needs to decide how she wants to play with them. We’ve tried showing her, and it just doesn’t seem to work–but eventually she’ll figure it out and incorporate it into her play.

    And while she’ll lose interest in a particular toy, the odds are pretty good that she’ll come back to it, months or a year later. You never know when that set of stacking rings is going to re-emerge.

    I also understand, though, that as a gift-giver, people want a reaction. They want to see that they did actually pick the right gift, that they’ve brought happiness to the recipient. It’s hard to give something and feel like it didn’t even register. (We do have her say “Thank you,” but some enthusiasm is usually nice.)

    Every once in a while, though, that magic moment happens. When Baguette was two and a half, we had a playdate. The other little girl had a Rockin’ Elmo that Baguette just loved. So I told my dad about it, and he bought it for her as a Christmas gift. And when she unwrapped it, and it started to sing and move, she was in raptures–delighted shrieks, beaming smiles, the works.

    We got to see it again last weekend, at Mr. Sandwich’s 25-year high school reunion. It was at a restaurant, so we got a table and ate dinner there. That gave Baguette time to settle into the space and enjoy herself. Then we went out on the patio and mingled with the rest of the alumni.

    One of his classmates, having heard about Baguette’s love of “Frozen,” brought her a set of character finger puppets. Baguette lit up and gave dazzling smiles. She even stopped eating her Pirates’ Booty for a moment (and let me tell you, it is hard to get her to respond to anything when she is eating).

    And those finger puppets? On a nightly basis, in tiny, high-pitched voices, they act out this exchange from “In Summer”:

    Kristoff: I’m gonna tell him.
    Anna: Don’t you dare!

  • Summer in Santa Barbara

    I wish we could spend the whole summer in Santa Barbara, but I really can’t complain about having a week there. While Kauai is our top vacation spot, it’s a little out of our reach right now. Three plane tickets are expensive, and Mr. Sandwich and I agree that Baguette is not yet ready for the flight experience.

    Fortunately, Santa Barbara is only about an hour and 15 minutes away by car (if traffic isn’t bad, which it often is). So for the last four summers, we’ve gone to Santa Barbara for our vacation. We prefer to rent a condo or other place to stay, and have had mixed success with that based on budget and timing (year 1–Motel 6; year 2–studio which I mistakenly thought had a kitchen; year 3–Homewood Suites in Oxnard, which was further away but a terrific place to stay; year 4–cottage behind the owner’s house, and dingdingding I think we have a winner).

    As on prior visits, we went to the Santa Barbara Zoo (three times), destroyed sandcastles and splashed at Leadbetter Beach (twice), visited the ducks and the elaborate playscape at Alice Keck Park and the adjacent Alameda Plaza, and drove out to Ballard to see Sicilian donkeys at Seein’ Spots Farm.

    Elephants

    DCIM113SPORT

    Ducks

    Playground1

    Playground2

    Donkey

    Because we had a kitchen, we ate breakfast in the cottage most days. While I like to go out to breakfast, I don’t like to have to go out to breakfast. We did get pancakes once at Garret’s Old Fashion, which is becoming a must-do on our Santa Barbara trips, but most mornings I was really happy with my toast and sunflower seed butter accompanied by yogurt and berries.

    We did tend to eat lunch and dinner out, although even then we brought home leftovers that covered a few more meals. The standout new-to-us place was Eureka! In addition to excellent burgers, they had an array of beers and whiskeys.

    By the way, in the past we’ve looked for bookstores in Santa Barbara. Apparently my previous Google searches failed miserably, because it turns out that there’s been an amazing one in our go-to neighborhood the whole time. It’s an independent store, and it’s got a children’s section that is large enough to be a separate children’s bookstore. So if you’re ever in Santa Barbara, stop by Chaucer’s Bookstore. You won’t be sorry.

    Chaucer's Bookstore in Santa Barbara

    And of course, we also paid a visit to McConnell’s.

    McConnels

    In the end, Baguette didn’t want to leave Santa Barbara–and, truth be told, neither did we.

  • Mostly, I Hope Jadis Isn’t in There

    Actual conversation from last night:

    Me: Baguette, why are you opening the closet door? Narnia isn’t in there.

    Me (to Mr. Sandwich): Although I don’t actually know that. Maybe Narnia is in there.

    Mr. Sandwich: If Narnia is in there, you know what that means. More storage.

    Me: More cold storage.

    Mr. Sandwich: But bad cold storage, because if you put a hamburger in there and come back for it a week later, it’s actually a hundred years old.

    No one ever wonders why we’re married.

  • Taming the Work Week: An Interview with M.R. Nelson

    Bio-Clock

    The weekend is almost here, so it’s a good time to think about how to get ready for next week. M.R. Nelson of Wandering Scientist drew upon her extensive experience in project management to write a terrific ebook titled Taming the Work Week: Work Smarter, Not Harder. She was kind enough to send me a copy to read prior to our interview; the insights and perspective she shares in the ebook are definitely worth paying for.

    Taming the Work Week quickly and succintly addresses a number of approaches to making your job more manageable. One of the things I appreciated about Nelson’s book was that she emphasizes that this is not just for working parents–this is an issue for everyone, because we all have lives outside of work. She goes on to discuss a number of topics, including how to track and increase efficiency and productivity, how to contain the expansion of the workday, and how to avoid the common fallacy that more hours worked equals more work accomplished. After reading it, I wanted to know more; read on for her responses.

    1) Facetime culture–There can be a lot of variation here. It’s one thing to adapt to a boss who prioritizes certain hours, but what about the boss who expects you to always be checking emails? How do you get credit for time worked outside the office? What about the boss who values facetime over productivity?

      To be honest, if I found myself in a work culture that strongly favored facetime over productivity, I’d start looking for ways out of that culture. I just don’t have the patience to deal with that nonsense anymore. However, I know that a lot of people can’t get out of that culture or  work in fields that are dominated by facetime work places. I think there are some things those people can do to make their work life more sane. One thing I mention in the book is the fact that most facetime cultures seem to notice how late you stay more than how long you take for lunch, or even what time you get in each morning. So one thing to do is to look at what time periods are most noticed and rewarded at your work, and see if you can arrange your schedule to be there for those while taking some flexibility in the less noticed hours. For instance, if your work notices how late you stay but not how long you take for lunch, start taking real lunch hours and using them to clear errands that would otherwise eat into your family time on the weekend. 

      The easiest way to get credit for the time you work outside of the office is to leave some obvious sign you were working- such as an email or two (just don’t start expecting answers after hours or you’ll become part of the problem!) But more important than that is to actually be productive during that time. There is no point in bringing home your laptop just to log two hours of busy work. In most non-pathological work places, the productivity will be noticed and people will know you’re really working at home. It is not enough to just login from home. You really have to make that time count, or else why bother? Even in a facetime culture, people notice who gets things done and who doesn’t.

      You can gently teach a boss (and colleagues!) about the benefits of valuing productivity over facetime by occasionally mentioning a study or article you saw about the benefits of downtime for productivity or the like. But here again, I think productivity tends to speak for itself. Even in a strongly facetime culture, it is hard to argue with results. So start racking up the results, and keep a file with the evidence of the results, for use come review time. 

      For a boss who expects constant email responses, I’d try setting some expectations. At various points in my career, I have had jobs that required me to be reachable after hours, and to take a Blackberry on vacation. I handled this by making sure my team (and my boss) knew when they could expect me to check my email, and telling them to call if they needed a response more quickly than that. On vacation, I checked the Blackberry twice a day. After hours, I’d check as soon as I got home, after dinner, and after I got the kids to bed. I only read emails whose subject indicated they were urgent. No one ever abused my trust and called me for frivolous things. I’d also make sure that the boss really expected those responses. My current boss sends a barrage of emails, full of questions, over the weekend. But he doesn’t expect us to respond- in fact, he laughs at his penchant for getting into discussions essentially with himself (because no one else is responding). It just happens that weekends are the time he uses to catch up on emails. Not every weekend emailer is as aware of the potential impact as my boss is, but not every weekend emailer expects responses, either. Don’t assume that you have to respond- pay attention to what happens if you don’t, and adjust accordingly.

      That leads into my final tip, which is that sometimes a facetime culture isn’t as strong as it seems, and you can set boundaries and keep to them and still succeed. Don’t request accommodations, just state your boundaries and stick to them- and keep producing a lot of high quality work. If it seems that this approach is not getting you where you want to go at your company, then you can start looking for a healthier place to work. 

    2) Time tracking–what methods have you tried? What do you find most successful/versatile?

      I’ve used spreadsheets and an online tool called Toggl. I like Toggl better than the spreadsheets, hands down. It is very easy to use, and not intrusive, particularly since I have a computer-based job and can just leave it open in my browser. It is designed to be used by people who charge by the hour for their work, but that is essentially what time-tracking is: charging yourself for your time, and holding yourself accountable for how you spend it.

    3) How do you balance accountability with a lack of authority?

      Ah, this is a biggie. I remember very well the first time a boss told me I had to demonstrate I could get results without having the authority to demand them. It really pissed me off. But he was right, that IS a key skill. I didn’t really appreciate how key it is until I spent a lot of time as a contracted project manager, which is the ultimate “accountability without authority” position- I didn’t even work for the same company as the people I was trying to direct, but my continued employment depended on my getting them to do what I needed on my project. That job taught me how to pay attention to what would motivate the people whose help I needed, and figure out how to make them want to do what I needed. Also, it turns out a lot of people are happy to help you as long as you give them enough lead time so that they can work it in around their other responsibilities- so having a solid project plan can be a big help. I could give people weeks or even months notice about something I needed, and then just check in with them periodically to make sure it didn’t get forgotten.
      Of course, sometimes, you just have to flag a lack of progress to the people who have the authority to issue orders- but I haven’t had to do that as often as you’d think. When I do need to do this, I make sure the person with authority knows the consequences of the schedule slip: i.e., it will delay the project by X weeks, or require us to spend Y extra dollars to keep a data center open longer. So again, a solid project plan is key: I’m not just whining that I can’t get what I want. I am stating a problem and describing the consequences of that problem.

    4) What’s the most challenging thing for you about taming the work week?

      I have a tendency to over-optimize, so sometimes I can burn myself out even though I’m not working a ridiculous number of hours. I forget that the breaks in the middle of the day are just as important as leaving at a reasonable hour. Yes, it really is OK to spend 5 minutes reading a blog post after I finish a big task! Finding the happy medium between wasting heaps of time and trying to be productive in every available minute is key, and I struggle with that sometimes.

    5) What’s one change to your schedule that you’d like to implement, but haven’t been able to?

      I’d love to have full control over my schedule, so that I could optimize my time globally, not just within my work week and within my non-work time. But our corporate culture is really not set up for that. I have a lot of flexibility, but not full control. 

    6) What do you most want readers to take away from your ebook?

      Can I name two things? I want readers to recognize that you can have a successful career without allowing it to consume your entire life, and also that long hours can actually be counter-productive. 

    Taming the Work Week is also available on Amazon.com.

    Photo by Paul Swansen, via Flickr. Creative Commons.

  • Apparently I Lack Imagination

    It’s been weeks since I posted. I have photos from our vacation earlier this month. (Didn’t know we went on vacation? Quite possibly that’s because I haven’t posted in weeks.) Well, technically Mr. Sandwich has the photos. I haven’t managed to transfer them from his computer to mine.

    And there have been things I’ve wanted to blog about, but I can’t remember them. Maybe that’s because Baguette has been going through a growth spurt, which means that none of us has been sleeping.

    So I need a writing prompt. Ginger from Ramble Ramble to the rescue!

    She’s been providing a pair of writing prompts for several weeks. And usually I look at them and think, “Oh, I could blog about that.” And then I don’t. But this week’s prompts both appeal to me.

    Prompt 1: In another life, what career/job would you have, and why?

    Prompt 2: Give us your top 10 favorite movies of all time.

    Today I’ll do #1, because, well, it’s the first one.

    When I was a kid, I had a lot of ideas about what I wanted to be when I grew up:

    • archaeologist
    • lawyer
    • neurosurgeon (mostly I just said that to get people off my back about career plans)
    • nurse
    • mom
    • brick layer

    The easy answer is that I’d be a writer, and a successful one (hey, it’s my alternate reality I’m imagining). I’d have taken the path I saw for myself in high school, pursued journalism, written some nonfiction under my own name, and written some fiction under a pseudonym. Or I’d have turned to magazines rather than newspapers, and I’d be a freelance writer with the aforementioned nonfiction and fiction.

    But I really didn’t like the person I was when I was a reporter–even a high school reporter–and I have discovered that I don’t really like freelancing. I’m not geared to work for myself; I prefer to work for a company or organization of one sort or another. I like the steady paychecks. I like not having to build a client base or die. I like the health benefits (Seriously, I once had the following internal monologue upon seeing a picture of the mountains in eastern Kazakhstan: I would love to be able to backpack there. I wonder if I could get to that level of backpacking. But I’d wind up with a sinus infection. Where would I get antibiotics? I’m really not Backpacking-in-Kazakhstan Girl.)

    So I’d probably be an editor, quite possibly in magazines. Considering how much I have always loved reading them, I’m not sure why I didn’t pursue this as a career path. After I got my master’s degree, I applied for a kazillion jobs (college admissions counselor, CIA analyst) in a bazillion fields (education, government, publishing, historical research) all around the world (rural Virginia, Philadelphia, the United Arab Emirates). I don’t think a single one of those jobs was at a magazine.

    In this life, I spent 13 years as an in-house and freelance (see? I even tried it) editor. My current job is not editorial, but I’m still asked to do a lot of editing.

    Yes, I know I’m out of control with the parentheses on this post, and my use of italics is erratic at best here, but this is the way my brain is working today. Bear with me.

    So I guess in whatever life I’d have, I’d have something akin to this career.

    Oh, hey, the mom part turned out to be true, too. Nice.

  • Things I’m Loving

    1) Hot Tot

    Hot Tot brand shampoo and conditioner

    This shampoo and conditioner combo continues to deliver for Baguette’s hair.

    2) Parents

    ParentsJuly2013_cover

    The last few months, this magazine has had at least one article that has really spoken to us.

    3) Steel-cut oats

    John McCann's Steel Cut Oats

    These things are amazing. Much better texture than the regular ones, although I suspect they won’t work as well for cookies.

    4) And, of course, Baguette

    I know I’m her mom and therefore biased, but she is cute as beans.

    Photo of oats by urbanlatinfemale, via Flickr. Creative Commons.

  • Books I Don’t Love

    This isn’t a list of books I hate, which would be led by Gregory Maguire’s Wicked. (I loved the musical, but there was not one thing I liked about that book–and I finished it just to see if there would be.)

    No, this is a list of books that are widely agreed to be excellent, and I just don’t care.

    Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. I’ve loathed every adaptation I’ve seen, and I only read the book after it was suggested that I might like it better if I read it as a horror story, rather than as a romance. I didn’t.

    The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I just can’t get into it, and I’ve tried more than once. I also tried Tender Is The Night with the same result. For my money, Fitzgerald–like Hemingway–is better at short stories. I’ll pass on the movie–particularly since I also don’t love Baz Luhrmann’s work. (Fun fact: If you want to excerpt, the Fitzgerald estate will only approve it if you have pulled your selection from specific editions, which they will identify by ISBN.)

    Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion. I do not get the appeal of this book. I didn’t get it when I first encountered it in college, and I didn’t get it several years ago when I re-read it after loving The Year of Magical Thinking.

    What about you? What books mystify you with their acclaim?