Category: Family and Friends

  • Baguette Knows What She Needs

    Mr. Sandwich and I will sometimes pause and say to one another, “This is a dream come true.” And I can tell that Baguette has those moments, too.

    Baguette has been very anxious for me to be around her lately, but when we are together–and by “together,” I mean snuggled up against one another, she is so happy. We’ll sit on the couch, with her leaning up against me, and she will just relax.

    Or she’ll stand up, grab my hand, and pull me into the hall. There, she’ll sit down and say, “Mommy SIT.” When I do, she’ll say, “Mommy NIGHT” and push on my chin until I lie down on the floor. She’ll lie down next to me, give a deep exhaling sigh, and then just beam at me. Then, giggling, she’ll run to my feet and crawl along on top of me until she wraps her arms around my neck, roll off me, and go back to my feet.

    That’s all she needs right now–me, focused on her and playing the way she wants to. It’s so simple, and so wonderful. And being loved like that is so humbling.

    Although I do have to say this: I hear lying on the floor is good for your back. And I am not convinced.

    Photo by Mr. Sandwich.

  • A Few Things Baguette Is Saying These Days

    • “Alicious! Mmmm!” (With a smile, often just after throwing the alicious food on the floor)
    • “Daddy Elmo I play drums.” (Followed by drumming. I am unsure about how to punctuate this. Is she telling Daddy and Elmo? Is she telling Elmo’s father, but she’s unsure of his name? I can’t fault her on that, since Dorothy the Goldfish thinks it’s “George,” but apparently he’s been identified elsewhere as “Louie.”)
    • “Super Mommy! Super Daddy!” (I’d like to thank Sesame Street and Super Grover for this one.)
    • “Want to see Zoe. Hi, Zoe!”(This girl does love her Sesame Street characters.)
    • “Bed!” (Often at completely implausible times, like 30 minutes after waking up.)
    • “Wow! A guitar!” (Sometimes it’s a violin, but to be technical, it’s a ukelele.)
    • “Shoe! Shoe! Shoe! Shoe! Shoe! Shoe!” (About shoes that are much too small.)
    • “Chug, chug, puff, puff, ding dong, ding dong.” (And here I thought “I think I can” was the most important phrase in The Little Engine That Could. Shows what I know!)
    • “Flower!” (Yelled angrily as we approach the house. Evidently she cannot wait to begin our evening Family Walk so that she can assault the neighbor’s garden and uproot their decor.)

  • Headaches

    Monday I had a headache. One of those grinding, relentless headaches that refused to succumb to OTC medications, water, or much of anything.

    Wednesday I stayed home with a migraine. Even after it receded, I felt groggy.

    Thursday I continued to feel groggy for much of the day, with a headache that came and went on a whim of its own.

    And on top of that, Baguette’s school still thinks she’s insufficiently interactive. Or something. We watch her in all kinds of settings, and we still think the main question here is the size of the group.

    headache

    So I haven’t posted much this week. But here’s to the weekend–may it be headache-free for all of us!

    Photo by DebbieC, via Flickr.

  • Leaf Bag List: My Fall Goals

    Just before summer began, I was inspired to create a “Sand Pail List.” I didn’t fulfill all of my summer goals, but that’s okay–Fall offers new opportunities!

    Leaf Bag List - JPG

    So what do I want to do this Fall? Hmm . . .

    Cooking
    This goes back on the list. I’ve had urges to bake pumpkin bread and make casseroles, but with temperatures over 100 lately, it’s just been too hot. Oooh, potato-cheese soup! But again with the too hot.

    Closet Cleanout
    Mine and Baguette’s. I need to update my work wardrobe, and there’s just no way she’s going to wear those 12M dresses from two years ago.

    Photography
    I want to learn to use the DSLR, and Mr. Sandwich has provided me with a book that is really informative and clear. I just need to do it.

    Scanning
    I want to scan old photos to share with family and friends. I have so many, and there’s no reason other people shouldn’t have them, too.

    Crafts
    I’m not a crafty person by nature, and that’s fine. But I’ve wanted to make a button wreath for years, and there’s no reason I shouldn’t do that this fall.

    So as we begin a new season, what’s on your Leaf Bag List?

    If you want to use the Leaf Bag List icon, feel free! You can find it on Flickr.

  • Well, Then By All Means, Let’s Spoil It For Everyone

    When I was in third grade, I was in a Bluebirds troop. Our leader decided that we would put on a play: Snow White. We drew lots for roles, and I was excited when the slip of paper I drew from the bowl read “Snow White.” I would get to be the main character!

    And then one of the mothers objected. Snow White, she said, was a story about a woman who cooked and cleaned for seven men. It glamorized traditional gender roles. And if we put on that play, she’d pull her daughter from our troop.

    The show did not go on.

    I’m remembering this, because it turns out that father-daughter dances (and mother-son ballgames) are discriminatory.

    THIS ATROCITY MUST BE STOPPED!

    The only way to accomplish equality, clearly, is to ban the offending event.

    Here’s an idea: what if we changed it? What if we made it a “Family Dance” or a “Family Ballgame” that didn’t specify gender for any of the parties? What if, in the case of my Bluebird troop’s play, the mother had suggested another story she thought offered a better message? What if she’d worked with the troop leader to rewrite the story so that it taught a lesson she found more palatable?

    There are a lot of ways we can teach our children to deal with discrimination. I want to teach Baguette that she should start by looking at how to make events/traditions/the world more inclusive. I don’t want her to learn that the way to increase fairness is by limiting access for all.

    Fort Bragg Father Daughter Ball gives Families night of fun, fantasy - FMWRC - US Army - 100916

    Seriously, who looks at this photo and thinks, “That’s enough of that nonsense”? If you want to be a part of it, find a way to be a part of it. Don’t ruin things for everyone.

    That’s not equality. That’s spite. And it’s not what I want to teach my daughter.

    Photo by familymwr, via Flickr.

  • How Was Your Weekend?

    Ours started a day early, kind of. On Friday, Baguette’s cast came off (huzzah!). What was her response to this development?

    Sock all gone. I got a foot!

    At the moment she walks with that foot turned out, and she still has a bit of a peg-leg pirate walk, but she’s rapidly getting back to her normal gait–and activity.

    Since she’s Baguette, that activity includes not sleeping. We were up at midnight, driving around Los Angeles and environs at midnight. (You think I’m kidding? I’m not. We’re talking at least 20 miles of driving, and not all of it in town.)

    Since we’re the Sandwiches, Saturday did not mean sleeping in early. Quite the opposite: we got up at 3:30, because Mr. Sandwich was entered in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon. He did quite well, finishing in the top 1/3 of his age division, and Baguette got to spend the morning on the beach. Let me tell you, this is one fearless toddler. And that means that when you’re her parent, and she won’t stop rushing toward the waves, you are definitely not fearless.

    An early morning and extensive beach time did not mean that she had a good nap. No, she slept for about 30 minutes and then was awake for the entire afternoon.

    Awake and tantrum-y.

    But eventually even her strength of will could not overcome her exhaustion, and at 6:30 p.m. (6:30!)she passed out on my lap. We carefully moved her into the bed and settled in for a night of streaming video. That’s right, it was Date Night, Sandwich Edition. What did we watch? Captain America, of course (Avengers not being available yet, and both of us feeling that Thor would be ruined–ruined, I tell you!–by the presence of Natalie Portman). Now, Cap has never been my favorite superhero, and I had some issues with the movie–but it was fun, and we really enjoyed the chance to curl up on the couch and watch something of our own choosing while endlessly petting the dog’s stomach (Wicket is indifferent to TV as long as she is getting petted).

    We made it to bed at about 11, which meant that when Baguette woke up at 3:30, I really, really hoped we’d be able to get her back to sleep. We couldn’t. But that’s okay, because we would have been getting up too soon anyhow: shortly after 5, I left for the ER, where it was determined that yes, I had another kidney stone.

    Some Dilaudid and several hours of fitful sleep later, Mr. Sandwich and Baguette arrived to pick me up. We went out for breakfast and picked up some groceries, and then went home so that Baguette and I could nap. Which we both did, successfully. Our evening was low-key, and we made it to bed at about 9. Everyone slept through the night, and Baguette woke up on her own at 6, which (combined with the night before) tells me that, barring teething or broken legs, her tendency is to sleep for 9 hours at night.

    Meanwhile, I’m still tired. You?

    Captain America Shield

    Photo by abuckingham, via Flickr.

  • Sand Pail List, Revisited

    Sand and Toys

    In May, I created my “Sand Pail List” of things I wanted to accomplish this summer. How’d we do? Let’s take a look:

    Going to the park
    We did go to local playgrounds, but not nearly as often as I’d intended–except for when we were in Santa Barbara. We went to a lot of playgrounds in Santa Barbara.

    Summer concerts
    Not one. Turns out that the ones held in my friend’s town are on Sunday nights, which didn’t work for us, and we never investigated the ones closer to home. Maybe next year.

    Going to the beach
    We got to the beach three times this summer, and are going again once Baguette gets her cast off. Labor Day may be over, but southern California’s summer is not.

    Swimming lessons
    Happening right now! Well, not right now. But we’ve enrolled Baguette in the current session at our local Y, because you cannot keep her out of the water. (Me, either.)

    Cooking
    Err . . . I’ve done a little, but certainly not as much as I meant to. And I still haven’t gotten back to that farmers’ market.

    Well, there’s always fall. What should I call that one–maybe Leaf Bag List? I wonder if that works in the land of no fall colors.

    Photo by ~W~, via Flickr.

  • Splish, Splash: Pools I Have Known

    Sunset pool at ucla

    I love being in the water. Love it. I once announced that I was pretty sure I could live in the shower in my parents’ guest bathroom.

    But pools are better.

    When I was a kid in southern California, we had some kind of above-ground pool that my dad almost never assembled. I remember playing in it, but not very many times.

    Then we moved across the country. I’m sure someone had a pool in their back yard, but I don’t remember any. Instead, you joined a pool. There were wait-lists. It helped to know a member. After a year we joined one–although it turned out not to be the one most of my friends from school belonged to–and for years we spent lots of time during the summer at the pool.

    The year I was eight, I was on the swim team for that pool. We would compete at other area pools against their swim teams. No one had Power Bars back then; between heats, you’d eat powdered Jello mix for energy. Lemon or lime was best. (Do not substitute a Twinkie. A Twinkie will hold you back. Even though it seems like a Twinkie is mostly air, experience suggests that it must really be Dark Matter.) I competed in the 25-free and 25-back. How did I do? Pretty much every time, I’d get third in free and first in back. Was that 25 meters or 25 yards? I don’t remember. I just know that if I could swim backstroke, I could beat everyone else.

    Winters were wintery, but that didn’t keep me out of the water. How? Indoor pools. For several winters I would sign up for Winter Swim. I’ve always been good at swimming; whenever the instructor wanted someone to demonstrate a technique we’d just learned, he or she would ask me to show everyone.

    Full disclosure: I have never been good at flip turns. Thus my success in 25-free and 25-back. I guarantee you I would not have won in 50-back, much less in 50-free. I was probably never asked to demonstrate a flip turn in either direction.

    My other main memory of Winter Swim is a round of bullying that, unlike others, I was unable to deflect or derail. I carpooled with two boys from my elementary school who took it upon themselves to torment me. I have uncertain memories of them spitting in my hair during the car ride home. I loved swimming. I hated the ride to and from.

    (I also hated my sweatsuit, which was some horrible 1970s attempt at–microfleece, maybe?–it was sort of fuzzy and when it pilled I wound up with little red fuzzy bits stuck to me, because it is impossible to truly dry off after Winter Swim. Even the locker room is humid.)

    We moved to Texas. And, oddly, this is where I stopped swimming. Or not so oddly, if you think about it. We joined a pool that was within walking distance of our home, which meant that our mother wasn’t inclined to drive us. (Although I maintain that “walking distance” in a South Texas summer is about the distance from the front door to the car door.) Also, I was in high school, which meant that the pool and swimsuits seemed fraught with . . . well, fraught with something. I’m not sure I could have articulated it even then, but I stopped being willing to run around in a swimsuit, even at the pool.

    In college, we’d go to the pool–but only to sunbathe. This, by the way, is a terrible plan for a redhead, particularly in an era when SPF 10 was considered to be a lot of sun protection.

    Years and years and years later, I married Mr. Sandwich. We drove from our wedding in San Antonio to Los Angeles, and on one of the days before we left for our honeymoon in Hawaii, we went back to that college pool. I swam the length of it (this one I know–50 meters), clung to the side gasping, and then swam back. And while I was done for that day, I later spent many evenings in that pool training for triathlons.

    Also, I am still lousy at flip turns, so it’s a good thing that when I compete, it’s in the open water with a noticeable lack of walls.

    Now we live in the San Fernando Valley. When we moved there, I said, “I don’t need a pool–I don’t want one, too hard to maintain–but I do need air conditioning.” We have air conditioning, and I will admit that now that I’ve experienced a few Valley summers, I could also do with a pool.

    Fortunately, we live within an easy drive of one of the city pools. It’s been closed for several years due to maintenance issues, but they finally repaired it and re-opened it this summer. While I am sorry that it’s now closed for the season, I’m glad we were able to go several times–and at $2.50 an entry ($2.00 with a library card, for whatever reason), I think it’s a much better deal than building, filling, and maintaining one in our back yard.

    You know who else loves the pool? Baguette.

    It must be genetic.

    Photo by samk, via Flickr.

  • Why Our House Is a Disaster – Weekday Edition

    caution tape

    We’re refinancing, and on a recent Friday, we had a visit from an appraiser. The house was not even remotely clean, although I did set my alarm for 5 a.m. so that I’d have time to at least straighten up the living room (read: put things in stacks). Instead, I was so exhausted that I just kept hitting the snooze button. Sorry, appraiser.

    Mr. Sandwich and I are constantly evaluating the way we spend our time, particularly on weeknights, so that we can finish everything we need to and be ready for the next morning, while still getting Baguette to bed. What does that look like right now?

    5:30 a.m.

    Get up, wash face and brush teeth, unload dishwasher, wash any dishes in sink and put in drain rack to dry, give dog her medicine, open dog door, take one egg out of the refrigerator, put skillet on burner (which is not yet turned on). If it’s a day when we send lunch for Baguette, prep thermos with hot water.

    5:48 a.m.
    Finish bathroom routine. Shower if I’m lucky.

    5:53 a.m.
    Go back to bed to keep Baguette from rolling out; Mr. Sandwich gets up, gets dressed, and leaves for work.

    6:20 a.m.
    Get up, counting on Baguette to not roll out; get dressed, pull her pre-selected clothes/socks/shoes off of the shelf, get diaper and wipes and put them with her clothes, scramble and cook egg, heat up food to go in thermos, put egg in portable container, put food in thermos, assemble her lunch bag, put her breakfast in her tote bag along with anything else needed that day (set out the night before). Put yogurt and granola in my lunch bag if set up the night before; otherwise plan to buy breakfast at work. Feed dog. Make sure back door is locked, cabinets are latched, stove is off, and refrigator is closed.

    6:40 a.m.
    Unplug anything that has been charging overnight and put in handbag. Go back to bedroom and change Baguette’s diaper. Put her pajamas in the hamper and dress her for the day. Comb her hair. After she lies back down, sit her up and comb her hair again.

    6:50 a.m.
    Make Baguette stand up and walk to front door. Pet dog goodbye. Pick up bags, lock door, coax Baguette down steps, put her and bags in car.

    6:55 a.m.
    Arrive at day care. Get Baguette and her bags out of car, sign her in, drop off tuition or hot lunch money or other paperwork as needed, and walk her to classroom.

    7:02 a.m. If I’m lucky.
    Leave day care. Drive to bus stop. Park car, run across street, hope to catch bus. If I do, hope to get seat. If I don’t, drive to work. It’s an hour either way.

    8:05 a.m.
    Enter building. Buy breakfast and coffee, or just coffee if I managed to pack my own breakfast (lunch is even less likely). Go upstairs and work.

    5:00 p.m. Unless I have to work late.
    Leave building. Walk to bus stop. Catch bus home.*

    6:00 p.m. Unless traffic is worse than usual.
    Exit bus. Get in car and drive home.

    6:07 p.m.
    Arrive home. Pet dog hello. Change clothes. Put away any dishes in drain rack. Pour milk into straw cups for evening and next day.

    6:12 p.m.
    Mr. Sandwich brings Baguette home. Feed Baguette as much fruit and/or Goldfish as she will eat.

    6:25 p.m.
    Take Baguette and dog for walk around the block (1/2-mile distance). Discuss day. Encourage Baguette to walk, but carry her for intermittent stretches. Let her run back and forth when the impulse strikes her.

    7:10 p.m.
    Return home. Pull together some semblance of dinner for Baguette while Mr. Sandwich helps her play with the hose (it’s hot out). Start her bath.

    7:20 p.m.
    Change Baguette’s wet clothes and feed her.

    7:50 p.m.
    Mr. Sandwich gives Baguette her bath. Set out her pajamas and nighttime diaper, take dog out, feed dog, close dog door, wash dishes from her dinner, empty her lunch bag and clean containers, straw cups, and thermos, probably wash the skillet from that morning.

    8:05 p.m.
    Dry Baguette off, put her in nighttime diaper and pajamas, let her watch Sesame Street. Continue to prep for next day, gathering any paperwork or materials needed for day care. Eat tortilla with peanut butter (if lucky).

    9:10 p.m.

    Go to bed. All of us, because otherwise Baguette won’t. (Note: That’s “go to bed,” not “go to sleep.” There’s no telling how long that could take.)

    What’s missing from this picture?

    *This is when Mr. Sandwich does as much laundry as humanly possible in 50 minutes. Neither one of us has time to fold it or put it away.

    Photo by skyloader, via Flickr.